gothicgrandpaqueen:

you catch a lot of flies with honey, but you catch more honeys being fly

In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

theanti90smovement:

as you can see by the amount of bumper stickers on my car i am PISSED off at the government


classic luigi though

classic luigi though

svvords:

uwu doesnt even look like anything it just sounds like oowoo literally nothing else

queen-of-quiet-queefs:

unityy:

Finish this s

oulja boy off in this hoe Watch me crank it Watch me roll Watch me crank that soulja boy Then super man that hoe Now watch me you (crank that soulja boy) Now watch me you (crank that soulja boy) Now watch me you (crank that soulja boy) Now watch me you (crank that soulja boy)

thatsmoderatelyraven:

tired of all of the fake friends and backstabbers. the immaturity never ends. can’t wait for 8th gradee <3

thatfuckingcrowv2:

orlandobloomers:

instead of sending me nudes you can send me 

  • pics of you smiling with ur fave stuffed animal
  • pics of you smiling with ur mom 
  • pics of plants
  • pics of ur dog
  • pics of silly lookin bugs that u find 

send me the nudes while this geek eats a flower

unclefather:

brokendildo:

what if u were laying in bed and then stretched ur hand up and something hi5’d u

i’d move to a different continent because i don’t fuckin play like that